October 31st, 2023

Dear Max Trejo,

Seven months ago, my best friend, Devon Walker, tragically died under mysterious circumstances. The incompetent police don’t have a clue about what really happened. But I know the truth, and you need to know as well.

You’re the only person I trust with this information. The world needs to know what happened. Please, Max, you must report on this story in your publication The Jamestown Gazette.

Devon’s mother allowed me to gather up some mementos, and I accidentally came across a recording on his computer. She isn’t aware of what I’ve found, as I didn’t want to cause her any more trauma.

Attached to this letter, you’ll find the transcript of Devon’s final moments as captured on the recording. He inadvertently taped his death while recording for his Podcast “Dead to Him.”

The transcript will prove what really happened to Devon. I trust you’ll know what to do.

Sincerely yours,

Alexander King

#

TRANSCRIPT OF THE DEAD TO HIM PODCAST: 

SEASON 6

EPISODE: 5 (THE SECRET)

Air Date: Unknown

DEVON WALKER: What’s up DEAD TO HIM nation! I’m Devon Walker, your beautiful host. It’s an honor to have all of you join us. Today I have some exciting news. We have a very special guest joining us today. Please welcome Special Agent Lisa Archibald.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: It’s a pleasure to be here, Devon. I can’t wait to dive right in.

DEVON WALKER: Before we do that, I have to say I didn’t expect anyone from the government wanting to talk to me, let alone reach out directly.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: You’re too modest, Devon. I couldn’t think of a better person to share this news with. After listening to the podcast for several months, I’ve noticed you seem to have an interest in conspiracy theories, dealing mostly with the government.

DEVON WALKER: Yeah, it’s pretty cool to talk about Roswell, the moon landing, flat earth, and even…er…shit…I’ll edit this out… that one about the birds being fake. Are you going to confirm them all for us?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Yes, I am. Aliens are all around us. (Laughs) No, I’m kidding, but I am here to talk about a theory you haven’t even heard of.

DEVON WALKER: As long as you’re not here to spew some bigoted conspiracy. I don’t do those. You’ll be out of here before you even finish the theory. We’re very supportive of marginalized listeners here.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: None of those, I promise. No, this is a new concept dealing with the dead.

DEVON WALKER: The dead?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Experiments on the dead.

DEVON WALKER: So, cadavers then?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Not exactly.

DEVON WALKER: People donate their bodies to science all the damn time, this isn’t exciting.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Aren’t you a little bit curious?

DEVON WALKER: Fine, whatever, I’ll edit this part out. Please, Special Agent, tell me what you’re doing with dead bodies.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: We are able to bring people back from the dead.

DEVON WALKER: You’ve got to be shitting me. Why would anyone want to do that?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Have you ever lost someone, Devon? Don’t you wish you could still talk to them?

DEVON WALKER: You’re telling me that you’re…bringing people back from the dead to talk with their loved ones? Doesn’t that break all kinds of ethical laws? And why tell me this? Surely, no one permitted you to speak with me.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Oh, you’d be surprised. We think you’ll be the one that will help the public to understand better.

DEVON WALKER: You want me to use my platform to help you convince the public that the government experimenting on dead bodies is a good thing? No, this isn’t what I understood from your email, Special Agent. I thought we were going to talk about Aliens or fake birds. I don’t do this shit.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Don’t be ridiculous Devon, you’re not the only podcaster we’ve reached out to. And you can end this podcast any time you want, but you’d be losing your chance to help mankind.

DEVON WALKER: How the hell would I be helping mankind? I’m not a scientist.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: No, you’re not, but you have a large platform. Let’s talk about reuniting you with your loved one. Actually, I think it might be better to show you some physical evidence if you’re up to that. I have everything that I need in the van.

DEVON WALKER: It’s not a dead body is it? (laughs nervously) I’d never get the smell out the carpet.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Devon, you are quite funny. I can see why you’ve made this podcast such a hit.

DEVON WALKER: Please go ahead and bring in whatever you need to.

(The door opens and then SLAMS shut)

DEVON WALKER: God, what the fuck am I doing? I shouldn’t have answered that email. Alright, just get through the interview, and then I won’t ever have to see her again. 

(The door opens and closes)

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: I’ve brought my security to help me bring it in.

(CLUNK! A heavy metal object smacks down on the ground)

DEVON WALKER: What the…excuse me, is that a fucking coffin? Did you just bring a coffin into my house? Is this some sort of sick joke?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: I told you I had physical evidence.

DEVON WALKER: Yeah, I thought you meant you had some photos or videos. Not a goddamn corpse being brought in by a guy who looks like he’s in the Men in Black!

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: It’s best if you see our experiment in person.

DEVON WALKER: In person? Look, this was a funny bit at first, but now you’ve…you’ve taken it too far. Get this dead guy out of my house. This is over. We’re not doing this podcast anymore.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: You agreed to this, Devon. Aren’t you a man of your word?

DEVON WALKER: I didn’t agree to have a dead body in my house. Have you lost your mind? You need to get out.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: No, we’re not leaving.

DEVON WALKER: Come again?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: If you’ll look here, (rummages through some papers) you’ll find the papers that this man signed along with his family for us to run our experiments. You wanted all of this to be ethical, correct?

DEVON WALKER: You’ve got to be shitting me. You’re telling me that… Albert Martinez believed you could bring him back from the dead? Did you take advantage of his grieving family or something?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Are you going to criticize everything we’ve done? This is for the better of mankind, don’t you understand?

DEVON WALKER: The better of mankind? This is not what I’ve signed up for here, Special Agent. I like shit-talking about aliens, not seeing dead bodies. I’m not fucking doing this.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Yes, you are. You’re just nervous about everything. I understand that, but we’re going to better mankind and you get to be a part of that directly. So, let’s stop fighting this process and get on with it.

DEVON WALKER: Nothing good is going to come out of this, but fine. Go ahead and show me, then you need to get the hell out of my studio.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Great, I knew you’d come around.

DEVON WALKER: It’s not like you’ve given me a choice.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Devon, I’m going to open the coffin now, and then I’ll explain what’s going to happen, alright?

(The coffin creak open)

DEVON WALKER: Holy shit! How long has that guy been dead? His body looks pretty decomposed.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: He passed away two months ago.

DEVON WALKER: Two months? Alright, Special Agent, what kind of game are you playing?  You’ve got to be lying or this is some sort of sick-ass joke. Did Alexander put you up to this? I’m gonna fucking kill him.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Devon, we’ve been through this. It’s not a game. You’ll see soon enough.

(Someone riffles through a bag and glass clanks together)

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: As you can see here, I have three glass tubes full of liquid. One is yellow, then green, and finally a purple one. Each one will serve a purpose for bringing this man back to life.

DEVON WALKER: We’re seriously going to do this.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Yes, now you see this yellow one?

DEVON WALKER: Yep, it looks like piss.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Indeed, it does. Now I’m going to open this guy’s mouth.

(CRACK! SNAP!)

DEVON WALKER: Ugh, a little warning? Watching you pry a dead guy’s jaw open is enough to make me puke.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Now, I pour the first liquid into his mouth like so. Once the liquid has been in his mouth for a minute or two, his heart will begin to pump blood again.

DEVON WALKER: This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: You don’t trust me, do you?

DEVON WALKER: I’ve heard a lot of things in my lifetime, but this has to be the most outrageous.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Feel for a pulse then.

DEVON WALKER: What?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Check the man’s pulse. Right here on his neck. Go on, he’s not going to bite.

DEVON WALKER: What the…. that’s not possible. This has to be some kind of trick. It’s a Halloween prop, right? This thing must’ve cost you a fortune. The joke has gone on long enough though. Can we get to the ‘gotcha part’ before I call the cops?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: You have quite a sense of humor, but no, it’s not a prop. Now, I’m going to take his green vial which will help loosen his limbs and he’ll become slightly mobile. All I have to do is pour it into his mouth and wait a few seconds.

(SQUEAK!)

DEVON WALKER: Wait, what? He just moved. How is that possible? There’s no way that it’s possible. He shouldn’t be moving. What is going on?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Science has made all of this possible. People no longer have to grieve their dead. The government can bring them back for a small fee.

DEVON WALKER: You’ve figured out how to bring people back just to capitalize on it? The rich get their loved ones back, while the poor grieve twice. Is this supposed to be some weird ass statement on capitalism, Special Agent?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Don’t be so cynical, Devon. We have a free market here.

DEVON WALKER: That’s bullshit, and you know it.

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: There is plenty of time to work out the ethics of this later. Now it’s time for the last substance. You see here, in this purple vail is what ties it all together. Once this gets poured into his mouth, this man will become a living, breathing person again. Are you ready?

DEVON WALKER: No, I’m not. I want you the hell out of my house.

(Pouring liquid, followed by choking sounds)

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Now all we have to do is wait. Then you’ll be able to tell your audience all about this exciting opportunity.

ALBERT MARTINEZ: Ugh…what is happening? Where am I?

DEVON WALKER: Shit! Shit! You’ve brought a man back from the dead. Albert, it’s alright, man. Are you alright? Should I call 911?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: No.

ALBERT MARTINEZ: Stop yelling! Everything is so loud and bright and I’m hungry.

DEVON WALKER: I’ll get you something to eat. I have crackers or some of those hot chips if I didn’t eat them all last night after I got…

ALBERT MARTINEZ: No, not chips. I need flesh. I need you.

DEVON WALKER: What?

(Albert growls and bites down. Devon cries out)

DEVON WALKER: AHHH! What the fuck! You’re hurting me! Let go of my arm. AHH!

(Glass shatters)

ALBERT MARTINEZ: Flesh! Must consume flesh!

(Devon screams and cries. Albert chomps.)

DEVON WALKER: Get him off of me! Please, Special Agent, help me! He’s going to kill me. He’s eating me!

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Of course he is Devon, that’s what we’ve designed him to do. He’s going to eat your heart out of your chest.

DEVON WALKER: Please…I don’t want to die! Someone call 911! GET HIM THE FUCK OFF OF ME!

(Devon screams as his bones crack underneath the teeth)

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Devon passed out, but Albert please keep eating until you get to his heart. And you, make sure that Albert doesn’t leave this premises.

SECURITY: Yes, ma’am. Should we dispose of the bodies like last time?

SPECIAL AGENT LISA ARCHIBALD: Yes. I can’t believe it’s working. Soon all of our hard work will pay off and we can show this to the public. Everything is going according to plan. Be sure to delete the recording as well. We don’t want anyone getting a hold of this too soon. I’m going to put my things back in the van.

SECURITY: Yes, ma’am.

(The door opens and closes. Albert continues growling and biting down on the body)

SECURITY: Lick the bones clean if you have to Albert, just don’t fucking touch me. Alright, let’s see here...how do I delete a recording? He has so many icons on this desktop. Ah, here it is… Oh, what the fuck?

(Albert growls)

SECURITY: Ow! You son of a bitch, get off my leg! No, let go of me!

(Mics crash onto the ground. The recording fades)

END OF THE TRANSCRIPT   

#

To: Max Trejo (Maxtrejo@jamestowngazette.com) 

From: Shawn Rodgruiez (ShawnRodgruiez@jamestowngazette.com)

CC: Special Agent Lisa Archibald (Lisa.Archibald@government.com)

Subject Line: FWRD: REQUEST FOR INTERVIEW (SPECIAL AGENT) 

SENT DATE: November 1st, 2023 (18:52 PM) 

Hey Max, 

I found this in my Spam Box. Sorry, it took so long to get it to you. I messaged her back and apologized. Please see her interview request and set something up. This could put the Gazette on the map! Keep up the good work! Maybe you’ll actually get that raise you keep bitching about.

Shawn

Editor-in-Chief

The Jamestown Gazette

~~~~~ FORWARD ~~~~~ 

Dear Jamestown Gazette staff, 

My team and I recently came across a column written by Max Trejo. After reading, I instantly fell in love with it and knew I had to reach out to you for a story. My team and I have been working on a secret project for several years now, and we finally want to share it with the public. We believe that Max is the perfect person to help us get this news out! 

Our project is going to change the world as we know it. Below you’ll find my contact information.

We look forward to seeing you soon, Max! 

Thank you for your time.

Special Agent Lisa Archibald

***

Bailee Smith-Garcia (she/her) lives in Arizona, where she enjoys writing spooky stories. When she’s not writing, you’ll find her rewatching the Scream franchise.